The Year of Change

I am excited and a little nervous about tomorrow. I know that emotions will be stirring as I for the first time, put actions into thoughts and beliefs. I know that this is something I must do in order to help me through the process and I feel like it is the last step.

Next month will be a year and at this time last year I never thought I would be able to live with such an experience, but for some reason God has been faithful to me, even when I was not to him. Last year my entire world fell apart and I am now a different person because of it. I completely gave up on everything and felt as though I was becoming cold and emotionless, despite all the emotions that were stirring within me.

The last year has been the hardest time I have ever experienced. There were so many thoughts of what kind of person I was and how things in life can happen and how I was going to just keep living. Many days I did not want to wake up and live with my reality. I layed in bed crying and trying to talk myself out of getting up and going through my day. I looked critically at myself and found things I never knew existed. I searched deep within myself and found the true me.

Today I feel as though a new season and a new life is breaking through and I am excited to see where this journey leads me. For the longest time I could not get my mind off the present or past. It haunted me every day and truely took something away from me. But at that time all I knew was that it did take something away from me, now I know it also gave me something. It gave me a new perspective and passion. It even gave me hope, a hope that I will never let go of.